Sunday, May 13, 2007
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Cute little bunny band
Person walks up to me
‘what’s with the playboy?’
‘do you think you are a playboy hahaha’ / some other lame line
The moral of this post is you can make a difference, as long as you try hard enough. As a result of my efforts, I am that much closer to being able to wear my band again. And Playboy itself is suffering a bit from the loss of the
So what’s your part?
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Water, falling from the sky
I was just standing outside when alluva sudden the most amazing thing happened, out of nowhere there was water, falling from the sky.
While this phenomenon may be familiar to those of us living in reasonable parts of the continents, it is still completely absurd. Absurder still is that two thousand years since they started counting, we still haven’t come up with an answer (and by answer I do not mean ridiculous pieces of clothing designed to boil you from the inside nor anti water walking sticks)
I’ve always been a neutral person, an impartial one who stays out of controversy and tries his best not to instigate animosity. So when I found there were multiple theories of water, falling from the sky I decided to do things a bit differently this time. I urge the proactive of the readership to divide themselves into groups based on the theory they believe in.
The god theory of water, falling from the sky
This theory states that there is a supernatural being, god, who every once in a while sends water down from the skies above. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy water fights immensely but personally I would like to believe that god would be a little more mature than that.
To those who believe this theory, from what I have read it seems the solution is to ‘pray’ to god and ask him to make the rain go away. The problem here is that god requests that we be good, and most of us being sinners, god is unlikely to look favourably upon our requests. The best bet therefore seems to be to pray to the devil (another supernatural being from god theory) instead.
He is believed to have fought very hard against god, who during the time of Noah, sent so much water from the sky that it nearly wiped out all of civilization. The question then is not his likelihood to join in our cause, there is no doubt about that, but his capability, given his failure during the time of the Great Flood.
The alien theory of water, falling from the sky
Alien theory states that it is not god (he IS more mature than that), who sends water from the sky, but creatures from alien space. Personally I believe this is the more likely explanation. A wide range of similar solutions exist, a basic outline would be to steal space technology/equipment from NASA, fly into outer space, find the bastards and kill them. Better yet steal the water first, and bring it down to earth, for there is a shortage of water in many parts of the world.
The science theory of water, falling from the sky
The science theory, the most startling of the three theories (if true) states that water, falling from the sky does not originate from the sky. Instead water from the earth’s surface mysteriously makes its way up to the sky and floats there for a while, before falling back down to the ground. Its upward flight is powered solely by the sun.
The implications of science theory are massive for the whole of mankind. I urge believers to forget about the falling water and making it stop, and instead focus on finding how it is that the water gets up there in the first place. Since human beings are ninety four point six percent water, finding the answer to this question will enable us all to fly. This is important because oil is drying out and plane tickets are getting more and more expensive.
While science theory is extremely farfetched and unlikely to be true, an interesting thing to note is that a recent survey found that the vast majority of people who took the survey believe science theory is the only one to get it right about water, falling from the sky. This is probably because nowadays people are being ‘educated’ and brainwashed to believe that science theory far from being a theory, is in fact the truth.
Again I urge the readership, what ever your beliefs may be to play your part for the benefit of the whole world.
While this phenomenon may be familiar to those of us living in reasonable parts of the continents, it is still completely absurd. Absurder still is that two thousand years since they started counting, we still haven’t come up with an answer (and by answer I do not mean ridiculous pieces of clothing designed to boil you from the inside nor anti water walking sticks)
I’ve always been a neutral person, an impartial one who stays out of controversy and tries his best not to instigate animosity. So when I found there were multiple theories of water, falling from the sky I decided to do things a bit differently this time. I urge the proactive of the readership to divide themselves into groups based on the theory they believe in.
The god theory of water, falling from the sky
This theory states that there is a supernatural being, god, who every once in a while sends water down from the skies above. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy water fights immensely but personally I would like to believe that god would be a little more mature than that.
To those who believe this theory, from what I have read it seems the solution is to ‘pray’ to god and ask him to make the rain go away. The problem here is that god requests that we be good, and most of us being sinners, god is unlikely to look favourably upon our requests. The best bet therefore seems to be to pray to the devil (another supernatural being from god theory) instead.
He is believed to have fought very hard against god, who during the time of Noah, sent so much water from the sky that it nearly wiped out all of civilization. The question then is not his likelihood to join in our cause, there is no doubt about that, but his capability, given his failure during the time of the Great Flood.
The alien theory of water, falling from the sky
Alien theory states that it is not god (he IS more mature than that), who sends water from the sky, but creatures from alien space. Personally I believe this is the more likely explanation. A wide range of similar solutions exist, a basic outline would be to steal space technology/equipment from NASA, fly into outer space, find the bastards and kill them. Better yet steal the water first, and bring it down to earth, for there is a shortage of water in many parts of the world.
The science theory of water, falling from the sky
The science theory, the most startling of the three theories (if true) states that water, falling from the sky does not originate from the sky. Instead water from the earth’s surface mysteriously makes its way up to the sky and floats there for a while, before falling back down to the ground. Its upward flight is powered solely by the sun.
The implications of science theory are massive for the whole of mankind. I urge believers to forget about the falling water and making it stop, and instead focus on finding how it is that the water gets up there in the first place. Since human beings are ninety four point six percent water, finding the answer to this question will enable us all to fly. This is important because oil is drying out and plane tickets are getting more and more expensive.
While science theory is extremely farfetched and unlikely to be true, an interesting thing to note is that a recent survey found that the vast majority of people who took the survey believe science theory is the only one to get it right about water, falling from the sky. This is probably because nowadays people are being ‘educated’ and brainwashed to believe that science theory far from being a theory, is in fact the truth.
Again I urge the readership, what ever your beliefs may be to play your part for the benefit of the whole world.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Eternal Shoeshine
Nowadays we seem to take shoeshine for granted. Take out all your tools, the shoe brush, the shoe polish (different bottles for every different shade of shoe you have) and your trusty miraculous shoe shine sponge. Apply the polish, wait till it penetrates, brush off the shoe then finish off with the cloth.
But does it really have to be like that?
Way back in oh five, under the influence of a movie, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and 19-2000 an amazing track by the Gorillaz which urged people to ‘get the cool shoeshine’. I came up with a concept, ‘eternal shoeshine’.
My first work on Eternal Shoeshine was during my graduation. We were each given one wish. So while I stood amidst the rest of my batch, the Class of ’05, wearing my black suit and my black shoes (that I’d shined earlier that day), holding my helium balloon with the words ‘Eternal Shoeshine’ on it, I let go of the balloon and admired my selflessness. (I could have just as easily written ‘Bentleys’)
One week passed, shoes still shiny, two weeks still shiny, but alas a month after graduation my shoes were no longer shiny.
There’s a lot of crazy people in this world. By crazy I don’t mean the good naturedly interesting crazy people but the dangerous psychotic ones. From extremist Zionists to Hitler and his crew, Stalin, Polpot, there’s lots of peoples who’ve convinced thousands of peoples to kill millions.
This piece of history deeply saddens me. Not because of the dead people, I’m not one to give, but because it makes the unremarkable, silent and unnoticed failure of the World Chocolate Movement pathetic. If Bush can make people believe that his 'War on Terror' makes sense, how come the World Chocolate Movement is still just an abstract notion in a blog lying somewhere alone on the internet.
So… to those who think the World Chocolate Movement takes too much effort, are mad at my parents for not doing something about my retardation etc. I try again, give you something else.
Here’s to eternal shoeshine.
But does it really have to be like that?
Way back in oh five, under the influence of a movie, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and 19-2000 an amazing track by the Gorillaz which urged people to ‘get the cool shoeshine’. I came up with a concept, ‘eternal shoeshine’.
My first work on Eternal Shoeshine was during my graduation. We were each given one wish. So while I stood amidst the rest of my batch, the Class of ’05, wearing my black suit and my black shoes (that I’d shined earlier that day), holding my helium balloon with the words ‘Eternal Shoeshine’ on it, I let go of the balloon and admired my selflessness. (I could have just as easily written ‘Bentleys’)
One week passed, shoes still shiny, two weeks still shiny, but alas a month after graduation my shoes were no longer shiny.
There’s a lot of crazy people in this world. By crazy I don’t mean the good naturedly interesting crazy people but the dangerous psychotic ones. From extremist Zionists to Hitler and his crew, Stalin, Polpot, there’s lots of peoples who’ve convinced thousands of peoples to kill millions.
This piece of history deeply saddens me. Not because of the dead people, I’m not one to give, but because it makes the unremarkable, silent and unnoticed failure of the World Chocolate Movement pathetic. If Bush can make people believe that his 'War on Terror' makes sense, how come the World Chocolate Movement is still just an abstract notion in a blog lying somewhere alone on the internet.
So… to those who think the World Chocolate Movement takes too much effort, are mad at my parents for not doing something about my retardation etc. I try again, give you something else.
Here’s to eternal shoeshine.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
The World Chocolate Movement
Once upon ago, I decided I wanted to make something of my life. Join the ranks of people who’ve made a difference to this world. People like the powerpuff girls and superman. In short to save the world, make a difference.
You often hear how the world is such a messed up place and how there are so many things wrong with the world today. I realized that before I could play the part of the woman from that movie Mother Teresa. I would have to first figure out exactly what it is that is the problem.
After many minutes of deep thought, I found that most of the world’s problems, in relation to its peoples, fall into either of two categories. The first is in the lack of the basic necessities of life, lack of food and water. Starvation and dehydration.
The second is unhappiness due to other reasons. Strange things such as feelings and emotions. Think the weirdo whose hundred thousand hundred thousand dollar cars, for some strange reason don’t fulfill his life.
Having made my first breakthrough (apparently the first step to figuring out the answer is figuring out the question) I decided to carry on and put in a few more minutes of deep thought.
After a few more minutes of deep thought, I figure the answer. Chocolate.
Before you go hey, chocolate is not the answer to all of life’s problems, consider this, chocolate does indeed help alleviate both types of problems in life. It helps hunger plus it makes you happy.
Why writes I this? For figuring out the answer and keeping it to myself would be completely useless. Now that we have the answer we need the action. The existing system for the production of chocolate in this economy driven world is not suitable for saving the world. We need to take over all the companies dealing in chocolate, and restructure them. In short this is a public domain appeal for the formation of the World Chocolate Movement. Once it is formed, the fate of the entire world will rest in its hands.
You often hear how the world is such a messed up place and how there are so many things wrong with the world today. I realized that before I could play the part of the woman from that movie Mother Teresa. I would have to first figure out exactly what it is that is the problem.
After many minutes of deep thought, I found that most of the world’s problems, in relation to its peoples, fall into either of two categories. The first is in the lack of the basic necessities of life, lack of food and water. Starvation and dehydration.
The second is unhappiness due to other reasons. Strange things such as feelings and emotions. Think the weirdo whose hundred thousand hundred thousand dollar cars, for some strange reason don’t fulfill his life.
Having made my first breakthrough (apparently the first step to figuring out the answer is figuring out the question) I decided to carry on and put in a few more minutes of deep thought.
After a few more minutes of deep thought, I figure the answer. Chocolate.
Before you go hey, chocolate is not the answer to all of life’s problems, consider this, chocolate does indeed help alleviate both types of problems in life. It helps hunger plus it makes you happy.
Why writes I this? For figuring out the answer and keeping it to myself would be completely useless. Now that we have the answer we need the action. The existing system for the production of chocolate in this economy driven world is not suitable for saving the world. We need to take over all the companies dealing in chocolate, and restructure them. In short this is a public domain appeal for the formation of the World Chocolate Movement. Once it is formed, the fate of the entire world will rest in its hands.
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