Eternal Shoeshine

Nowadays we seem to take shoeshine for granted. Take out all your tools, the shoe brush, the shoe polish (different bottles for every different shade of shoe you have) and your trusty miraculous shoe shine sponge. Apply the polish, wait till it penetrates, brush off the shoe then finish off with the cloth.

But does it really have to be like that?

Way back in oh five, under the influence of a movie, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and 19-2000 an amazing track by the Gorillaz which urged people to ‘get the cool shoeshine’. I came up with a concept, ‘eternal shoeshine’.

My first work on Eternal Shoeshine was during my graduation. We were each given one wish. So while I stood amidst the rest of my batch, the Class of ’05, wearing my black suit and my black shoes (that I’d shined earlier that day), holding my helium balloon with the words ‘Eternal Shoeshine’ on it, I let go of the balloon and admired my selflessness. (I could have just as easily written ‘Bentleys’)

One week passed, shoes still shiny, two weeks still shiny, but alas a month after graduation my shoes were no longer shiny.

There’s a lot of crazy people in this world. By crazy I don’t mean the good naturedly interesting crazy people but the dangerous psychotic ones. From extremist Zionists to Hitler and his crew, Stalin, Polpot, there’s lots of peoples who’ve convinced thousands of peoples to kill millions.

This piece of history deeply saddens me. Not because of the dead people, I’m not one to give, but because it makes the unremarkable, silent and unnoticed failure of the World Chocolate Movement pathetic. If Bush can make people believe that his 'War on Terror' makes sense, how come the World Chocolate Movement is still just an abstract notion in a blog lying somewhere alone on the internet.

So… to those who think the World Chocolate Movement takes too much effort, are mad at my parents for not doing something about my retardation etc. I try again, give you something else.

Here’s to eternal shoeshine.

The World Chocolate Movement

Once upon ago, I decided I wanted to make something of my life. Join the ranks of people who’ve made a difference to this world. People like the powerpuff girls and superman. In short to save the world, make a difference.

You often hear how the world is such a messed up place and how there are so many things wrong with the world today. I realized that before I could play the part of the woman from that movie Mother Teresa. I would have to first figure out exactly what it is that is the problem.

After many minutes of deep thought, I found that most of the world’s problems, in relation to its peoples, fall into either of two categories. The first is in the lack of the basic necessities of life, lack of food and water. Starvation and dehydration.

The second is unhappiness due to other reasons. Strange things such as feelings and emotions. Think the weirdo whose hundred thousand hundred thousand dollar cars, for some strange reason don’t fulfill his life.

Having made my first breakthrough (apparently the first step to figuring out the answer is figuring out the question) I decided to carry on and put in a few more minutes of deep thought.

After a few more minutes of deep thought, I figure the answer. Chocolate.

Before you go hey, chocolate is not the answer to all of life’s problems, consider this, chocolate does indeed help alleviate both types of problems in life. It helps hunger plus it makes you happy.

Why writes I this? For figuring out the answer and keeping it to myself would be completely useless. Now that we have the answer we need the action. The existing system for the production of chocolate in this economy driven world is not suitable for saving the world. We need to take over all the companies dealing in chocolate, and restructure them. In short this is a public domain appeal for the formation of the World Chocolate Movement. Once it is formed, the fate of the entire world will rest in its hands.