Water, falling from the sky

I was just standing outside when alluva sudden the most amazing thing happened, out of nowhere there was water, falling from the sky.

While this phenomenon may be familiar to those of us living in reasonable parts of the continents, it is still completely absurd. Absurder still is that two thousand years since they started counting, we still haven’t come up with an answer (and by answer I do not mean ridiculous pieces of clothing designed to boil you from the inside nor anti water walking sticks)

I’ve always been a neutral person, an impartial one who stays out of controversy and tries his best not to instigate animosity. So when I found there were multiple theories of water, falling from the sky I decided to do things a bit differently this time. I urge the proactive of the readership to divide themselves into groups based on the theory they believe in.

The god theory of water, falling from the sky

This theory states that there is a supernatural being, god, who every once in a while sends water down from the skies above. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy water fights immensely but personally I would like to believe that god would be a little more mature than that.

To those who believe this theory, from what I have read it seems the solution is to ‘pray’ to god and ask him to make the rain go away. The problem here is that god requests that we be good, and most of us being sinners, god is unlikely to look favourably upon our requests. The best bet therefore seems to be to pray to the devil (another supernatural being from god theory) instead.

He is believed to have fought very hard against god, who during the time of Noah, sent so much water from the sky that it nearly wiped out all of civilization. The question then is not his likelihood to join in our cause, there is no doubt about that, but his capability, given his failure during the time of the Great Flood.

The alien theory of water, falling from the sky

Alien theory states that it is not god (he IS more mature than that), who sends water from the sky, but creatures from alien space. Personally I believe this is the more likely explanation. A wide range of similar solutions exist, a basic outline would be to steal space technology/equipment from NASA, fly into outer space, find the bastards and kill them. Better yet steal the water first, and bring it down to earth, for there is a shortage of water in many parts of the world.

The science theory of water, falling from the sky

The science theory, the most startling of the three theories (if true) states that water, falling from the sky does not originate from the sky. Instead water from the earth’s surface mysteriously makes its way up to the sky and floats there for a while, before falling back down to the ground. Its upward flight is powered solely by the sun.

The implications of science theory are massive for the whole of mankind. I urge believers to forget about the falling water and making it stop, and instead focus on finding how it is that the water gets up there in the first place. Since human beings are ninety four point six percent water, finding the answer to this question will enable us all to fly. This is important because oil is drying out and plane tickets are getting more and more expensive.

While science theory is extremely farfetched and unlikely to be true, an interesting thing to note is that a recent survey found that the vast majority of people who took the survey believe science theory is the only one to get it right about water, falling from the sky. This is probably because nowadays people are being ‘educated’ and brainwashed to believe that science theory far from being a theory, is in fact the truth.

Again I urge the readership, what ever your beliefs may be to play your part for the benefit of the whole world.